Last night I received an email from the Byron Katie organization, titled “The Difference between The Work
A woman who was not terribly thrilled with the message of The Secret had hoped that the hub-bub around it would just go away, and was further burdened by its recent appearance on Oprah. This woman had asked Katie to comment on the perception held by some people that Katie and The Secret are saying the “same thing”. Katie responded, “Here are Stephen’s (aka Steven Mitchell, Katie’s husband) thoughts:
The Secret: “You can have whatever you want.”
The Work: “You can want whatever you have.”The Secret: “My will be done. I know what’s best for me.”
The Work: “Thy will be done (=Thy will is done). What’s best for me is what actually happens.” (In A Thousand Names for Joy, Katie says, “God’s will and your will are the same, whether you notice it or not.”)The Secret: “You can control your thoughts.”
The Work: “You are not the thinker. It’s not possible to suppress your stressful thoughts. But when you question them, they let go of you.”
The Secret: “You can manifest your positive thoughts as reality.”
The Work: “Reality already is the best thing that could be manifested. When you realize this, you’re home free.”
Katie’s Inquiry Surprised Me
In the email, Katie went on to inquire into the thought, “There is a secret” (the steps of the inquiry process are in bold print, below):
“There is a secret”—is it true? I don’t know, I just don’t know, could be, and how would I know when I have found it? Wouldn’t it mean (if it were really powerful) that when I truly found it, my life and the lives of everyone I love, which is everyone on the planet without exception, would be perfect? That I and all of us would no longer have to suffer from needing, wanting, and shoulding, and would be excited and grateful for what we have as we watch more and more flow in as we need it and always on time, just loving what is here for us right now in this moment? Hmmm. Okay, let’s keep moving.
“There is a secret”—can I absolutely know that it’s true that there is a secret which, if known, would give me the key to having everything that I want and need that I don’t have now in life? One that will give me later what I don’t have now (examples: a BMW, the necklace that I really want, weight loss, a bike)? No, I can’t know. How do I react when I think the thought that there is a secret and others know it and I don’t? I must live in a past and future that don’t exist as anything other than unfulfilled imagination, yearning for what I don’t have and believing that material wealth and better health are the key to my happiness, left out, isolated, unhappy, trying my best to get the things that I want and often failing and feeling like a failure. I begin to believe that I cannot harness this “secret” and end up with the same life that I started with in the first place, with or without material success. Who would I be without believing that there is “the secret?” Loving life, being “the obvious,” rather than being the secretive.
Why Did It Surprise Me?
I love The Work
And… yet, I also like the idea of The Secret. I’m not sure I buy the whole kit-and-caboodle, but it strikes me as having elements of truth. I don’t like, however, that I’m supposed to believe that we bring everything “bad” on to ourselves (such as cancer, rape, the loss of our parents as young children, etc.)
What struck me as odd in Katie’s inquiry was that she treated the thought “There is a Secret” as a distressing thought. Perhaps this was for the benefit of the folks who do find it to be distressing, but is Katie, herself, in that camp?
Is There a Secret?
To me, “Is there a Secret?” is a twin of “Is there a God?” How can any of us know? To some, the existence of “God” may be distressing. To others, it can be a comfort. But who really knows? If we take the same approach with that question, and with Katie’s philosophy (What’s best for me is what actually happens.”), we can go off in all sorts of unhelpful directions, such as: “Cancer [or abuse, or rape, or ....] is best for me. If so, what does that mean about me?”
If The Secret Exists, Does It Have to be Distressing?
My inquiry would be along the lines of…. Is it true? I don’t know. How do I feel when I believe that thought that there is a Secret? I feel great! [End of working.]
Who is Distressed?
For the rest of Katie’s discussion, you can go to Byron Katie’s blog. It’s a hot topic, which as of my checking, already had 73 comments attached to it! There are some pretty hot comments out on Katie’s blog! Some folks might be best off doing a working on their own distressing thoughts: “People who believe in The Secret are in fantasy land. They shouldn’t believe it.”
What Do You Think?
I’d love to know what you think. Please share…
Nice chatting with you,
Becky
14 responses so far ↓
Toria Thompson // April 30, 2007 at 3:38 pm
It is fascinating to me that the concepts presented in “The Secret” and the ideas underpinning Byron Katie’s work are at once opposing and exactly aligned for me. On one level, they seem so different – The Secret seems to say that we can manifest exactly what we want. Katie seems to be saying that we are powerless over what we get and the real secret is loving what is.
Let’s go deeper…. I am just ending a very painful divorce. This process has left me feeling valueless to the point of wanting to end my life, rageful to the point of wanting to end the life of my ex and his girlfriend and a whole range of terrifying feelings in between. One day I was out running and listening to Katie’s newest book on tape – A Thousand Names for Joy – and I had a most remarkable experience. I was just letting the words flow through me, feeling my feet hit the ground with the force of the rage I was feeling. My vision cleared and I saw the new green shoots on the ground and the buds on the trees. I was still filled with rage. I was amazed by the blueness of the sky. I was stil filled with rage except I had a new word for the feeling and it was passion. Suddenly, I wanted all of what was in my life. All of it. My husband with his woman in my bed in my house…. the rage/passion was so fully in my body…. my heart broken open… I was filled with a profound sense of gratitude for everything in my life and a sense of the rightness of it all. I was glad that my ex and his girlfriend were finding love…. I was feeling the peace that I had longed for all of my life.
I believe that the Secret can help me out here…. I now have a very real felt sense of the peace I want to create in my life. I can relive that peace anytime I want by just remembering that experience. I’m feeling it right not typing this. By repeatedly experiencing this peace – regardless of the circumstances – I will come to recognize it more and more and probably in the most surprising places. I think it is pretty obscured in the movie “The Secret” but they clearly say that you are absolutely not in control of how you get what you want. You are just in control of manifesting what you want. I know what I want and am dazzled by getting it through feeling rage and helplessness.
The bridge for me between The Secret and Byron Katie’s “The Work” is to manifest the feeling state you want to create in your life but to be completely unattached to how you get there. Questioning these beliefs has helped me to open up my vision to include more of what is in my life already. To see how much peace, love and support are there that I have been ignoring. To see how the seemingly hurtful situations and feelings are also in service of my peacefulness.
One final thought…. I think that The Secret is focused on manifesting material things because that is where our society’s attention is focused. If you look behind why people want the new car, the better relationship and more money, it is because they want the happiness that they think it will bring. I think this is a positive and necessary step in bringing awareness to the positive feelings we are trying to manifest in having all of these things. If that is what it takes, well then ok. But The Secret does tell people to focus on the feelings behind what it is they are wanting.
Peace,
Toria
bdegrossa // May 1, 2007 at 4:58 am
Toria – thanks so much for all you’ve shared. So wild that you found peace through divorce and rage, and so wonderful that it gave you the “felt sense” of what you want to manifest, and it seems, of what has already been in your life, unacknowledged.
I agree with you that The Secret tried to appeal to the masses with materialism. It’ll be interesting, in about 5 years, to see if we have a huge spike in the number of multi-millionaires on the planet : ).
Your comment also reminds me of Katie’s point that when we imagine something good, our brains/bodies can’t tell the difference between us imagining it and it really happening. So, it seems to me, that hanging out in the good feelings can only be for the good!
Thanks,
Becky
Toria Thompson // May 1, 2007 at 11:56 pm
I am so interested in how disparate things are ultimately connected at some unseen core. That’s why this post about how the Secret and Byron Katie’s work (seemingly so different) may be related intrigues me so much.
As I was running yesterday I had an insight that I think sums up my previous post. When we get underneath the ideas and stories we have about the feelings we are feeling, we get to some pretty essential places. What’s underneath rage is really pure energy when we drop the story. What’s under a desire for a Porsche or $$ in the bank is Love. So, since that is want the universe has in store for us anyway, Love, Energy, Peace… then at a core level manifesting anything that you want (ala the Secret) and recognizing that you get what you get and that its exactly what you need (ala Katie) are actually saying the same thing. We are wired to only want what the universe provides and the universe only provides what we want. The confusing part is that it is so easy for me to get caught up in the story that rides on top of the truer desire and lose this basic truth.
And then a quote that I love from Gandhi….
“The hand you are dealt is determinism. The way you play it is free will.”
Joseph Jin // May 3, 2007 at 8:50 am
I think Stephen Mitchell made a mistake in comparing The Work and The Secret like he did. When he speaks for The Secret, it sounds like the mind speaking from the level of ego, from a level of want or lack of something; but then he speaks about The Work from a higher level of consciousness. It’s not a fair comparison, considering how The Law of Attraction would advise against trying to manifest from a “wanting” or “lacking” consciousness anyway.
It’s not accurate for some people to think of The Secret as primarily a materialistic pursuit. Materialism in this sense implies craving, want, and lack – which are all just the opposite of the consciousness that the Law of Attraction is promoting.
I also think Toria hit the right nerve when she used the word “energy”. That’s really where The Secret and The Work converge quite harmoniously. Both of these philosophies owe their power to the fact that individual people become an open channel for Universal Energy whenever limiting thoughts and feelings are investigated and put in the proper perspective. It’s all the same Energy, although The Secret uses it for manifestation, while The Work uses it for the sake of love and inner peace. I believe the underlying goal of both teachings is to get people beyond limiting identifications with thoughts of want and lack (whether about material or spiritual issues), and to get to the point where we identify with the unlimited Universal Energy which is all powerful and loving. Without that Energy, followers of The Secret would not be able to use the Law of Attraction, and people doing The Work couldn’t honestly love What Is – because Universal Energy (or Source Energy, as The Secret calls it) is the only “What Is” there is. This is also why both The Secret and The Work advise against inwardly resisting what we don’t want, because it’s useless to resist the universe (according the The Secret) or reality (according to The Work).
Teachers of the Law of Attraction (aka New Thought) in previous generations often emphasized the importance of such effective identification with Energy. Bob Proctor, on The Secret DVD, also plainly said that he wants people to explore the laws that govern our BEING. Isn’t The Work also a very fundamental inquiry into the truth about our being (i.e. identity)?
I really can’t find any fundamental contradiction between The Work and The Secret, and it doesn’t seem to me that Katie sees any discord either. I think all of her blog comments are basically aimed at dealing with the subtle inner stories that keep popping up in people’s minds as they struggle with the nuts and bolts of understanding and practicing the Law of Attraction and/or The Work.
bdegrossa // May 3, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Joseph,
Welcome, and thanks for your insight. You hit on something I was feeling with the comparison that was published. It surprised me, and seemed at a “lower level” than where I see the body of The Work living! Thanks for that.
Also, thanks for pointing out that Katie probably has no issue with the Secret, but was most likely putting herself in the place of those that are struggling to pave the way for them to “work” it.
Great contribution, Joseph.
Becky
Courtney // May 9, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Just a thought, Katie has always said to work on what is stressful for you. We work on our own personal stressful thoughts. I hear you saying that “The Secret” is not a stressful thought for you. I read what Katie wrote as a truthful inquiry on what would appear a stressful thought for some.
bdegrossa // May 10, 2007 at 2:23 am
Courtney – I totally agree!
Thanks,
Becky
Trinity // June 26, 2007 at 3:42 pm
I’ve been thinking about this comparison/conflict myself for a couple of months, but I too find the whole “Secret”, as it’s showing up in the media in the past couple of years, distressing. Not distressing enough to cause me to look at Secret Mania any closer, though. I appreciate finding some pointers here by people who did look and think closely, compare and contrast….Thanks.
bdegrossa // June 26, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Trinity – thanks for your response!
Becky
Melanee // August 19, 2007 at 8:51 am
Wow. This was really interesting. I don’t know anything about “the work” except for what I read here. I actually went to the spiritual center pastored by one of the people on the Secret, and have read and practice much on The Law Of Attraction. On second viewing of the Secret, its focus on getting cars and things was a bit, as you all put it, distressing. However, because the world itself appears to be material (and not illusionary as it might just be) I suppose that approaching inner work through the concrete physical world is a first step into finding that inner world. Jesus, for instance, created miracles with matter. (I am not challenging opposing or proselytizing anyone) But I believe that in telling people to love their enemies, Jesus was not advocating martyrdom- emotional or physical- but the concept that nothing can hurt you. I know that loving those I have perceived as being a threat to my ego or safety or happiness has freed me from being hurt on many levels. Jesus said “Love thy enemy” and yet he also created miracles with fish and loaves, raising people from the dead, water into wine, etc. Whether you regard these biblical stories as fact or metaphor, I think that the way we experience, initially, inner peace and love is to understand that the outer word is illusionary in many ways. After I have manifested various physical things, it occurs to me that these things do not necessarily end my angst or sate me entirely… and thus my search goes on to manifest health and harmony in relationships and these are most directly affected by inner state. I think that loving what you have is a cornerstone to the law of attraction. To love every moment of your life, to accept your feelings, for good or bad, to know that everything you feel is rooted in a desire to feel love and connectedness (love thy enemy could be referring to your negative thoughts as well), to feel compassion for yourself is to love the moment you are in, to love what you have, and this love frees you to move onto the next moment, it allows that moment to undergo a kind of alchemy where pain is transmuted into spiritual gold. AND I believe that a deep practice of this alchemy can change and alter reality, as reality is illusory in nature.
Ann O'Johnson // August 25, 2007 at 6:45 pm
Hi!
A friend sent me the link to this article about “The Work” and The Secret.” It’s one of the best I”ve seen. Thank you.
Steven Sashen, a former curriculum director for “The Work” has a blog about it in his Anti-Guru Blog, http://www.sashen.com/blog
I’ve written a lot about relationships in mine, since it is the story of healing incest to the point of answering Katie’s Question #6 with “I look forward to . . . ” I posted the Worksheet in the sidebar on the right under Pages.
Pleased to meet you! I will keep reading!
Blessings, Ann
Kelly // August 26, 2007 at 2:40 pm
I recently wrote my own book called: An Inward Journey: A Guide to Living Your Best Life. In my book I marry the two ideas based solely on my own personal life experience.
After many years of being a psychic, I realized that there was one common theme with adults: they were focusing on their fears instead of consciously choosing love in any given moment.
What I remind people how to do is choose love from your Divine Heart first. When you do this, it gracefully dissipates away the old, disempowering thoughts.
In my book I talk about the old paradigm vs. the new paradigm. In the old paradigm, we are still using the self help tools of identifying our old, outmoded belief systems and consciously changing them into positive I AM affirmations. By doing this, we are re-wiring our brains to automatically go to the positive thoughts rather then the negative. There is also talk in my book about the law of attraction which is covered in The Secret.
In my book I discuss similar principles to what The Work is talking about. I share that we are entering a new paradigm where those of us that see there is more to this matrix then just what The Secret shares. What I mean is that deep within us is already our blueprint of what we are here on Earth to fulfill. When we align with this and begin following the inner voice of our intuition (not our mind) then we start to really follow the path of our authentic self. Thus, Thy Will Be Done is saying that you and God’s Will are already One. All that is ever needed is to surrender to this moment and allow your innate wisdom to guide you.
Now one may wonder where does free will come in if everything appears to be predestined.
I feel that before each of us incarnated, WE chose our life patterns and lessons. Everyone on Earth is actually an actor or an actress playing out a part that YOU scripted for them to play SO YOU could learn your life lessons.
Yes, we incarnate with a remembrance of this as children, but too easily we forget it and follow the dictates of the outer world…which leads everyone to looking outside of themselves for happiness. This is what I feel those that see beyond The Secret are talking about: aligning with your True Essence brings about happiness, not trying to manifest all those material possessions.
Free will to me means that we either choose to align with our Highest Self or NOT.
Some choose (unconsciously at times) to live from their ego self only, while others are awakening to living more from their Highest Self. The new paradigm is about living Fully present to your Highest Self, which is what The Work is talking about.
So, I feel that they both are serving a purpose. Those that are drawn to The Secret are ready to hear what it has to say. Those that see there is more then what the video shows are also correct because they are seeing that their intuition is guiding them to something more.
I invite people to start with living in their hearts FIRST and by doing this their old thoughts naturally get replaced by feelings of joy, peace, love and harmony. This takes away the strain of always trying to fix our thoughts in every moment.
Interestingly enough if one is always working to correct their thoughts, what is it that is actually trying to fix them: THE MIND. So it is the MIND still in control and the TRUE message is lost.
When we just allow our thoughts to naturally fall away by BEING DIVINE LOVE, that to me is living from our authentic self.
Gabriela // September 12, 2007 at 1:25 pm
To me The Work and The Secret both provide compatible insights. I am for ever grateful to Byron Katie for providing me with four questions that allow me to escape from my personal hells and return to what I call, our natural State of Grace or conexion with God . I have been through tremendous turmoil in my personal life as well. It was thanks to what I learned from Katie, that I was able to pacify my mind, embrace reality and fully live in the NOW (I am also deeply grateful to Eckhart Tolle for his inspiring books) . Miraculously, as I entered into a state of peace and acceptance (of what initially seemed unacceptable) I began to find that my visualizations began to manifest in ways that surpassed anything I had ever thought possible. I have always been a great believer in creative visualization, long before the Secret appeared. I read Shakti Gawains books and always felt inspired by her. However I discovered that visualizing from this state of “Grace”, accepting what is, loving what is and totaly surrendering to the moment in the knowledge that in this wonderful universe everything is perfect and exactly as it should be was extremely powerful. I once heard the quote “love what you have and get what you want” and I found this to be true. Visualizing from a state of anxiety, fervently desiring things to change, will only generate more anxiety. However, once I was in this state of love and acceptance of what was, I started to allow myself, during my meditations, to create dreams. Lovely dream which seemed totally out of reach. However I was totally embracing the NOW so these images did not cause me distress only joy. In ways which I can only describe as miraculous (and so do all my friends and family, who watched open mouthed ) these visions began to manifest. My personal situation has totally changed in ways that seemed unimaginable at the time. This quote from Carlo Castaneda summarizes what I have discovered : “Intent is a force that exists in the Universe. When sorceres (those who live of the Source) beckon intent, it comes to them and sets up the path for attainment,which means that sorceres always accomplish what they set out to do”. The Work helps me to stay conected to my true self, in a State of Grace, living of the Source. As a result I become a Sorcer. I KNOW this to be true for myself and therefor ,for all of you. Your deepest, purest desires are Gods desires for you. Connect with the source (amongst others through The Work) and God will manifest his desires for you, through you.
I send you my greetings and love.
micheline // October 13, 2007 at 10:41 pm
I too see no contradiction between The Secret and The Work ultimately. There is a gap beyond thought and it is in this gap that all possibilities abound.
I love Toria’s account of using The Work, I had a similar experience with it right from the start. the world opened up and coming Home to myself, I saw that absolutely evrything is allright.
To try and “work” the secret from an insistent ego-mind intent on its gratification simply does *not work*. it is a set-up for disappointment. But when you discover the Peace that is always present NO MATTER WHAT, the heart melts in gratitude and delight. even physical pain is just a shell of illusion.
To quote Fra Giovana, 15th century, “the gloom of the world is but a shadow; beyond, yet within reach, is Joy, and to see it we have only to look. I beseech you to Look!”